[.ca] When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal ... (ISBN 0060084294)

From Amazon.com:
It would be a pity if this interesting, humane, and practical book were read only by parents of recently bereaved children--for two reasons. First, the book is about grief in a broad sense. Its lessons apply not only to the child whose pet, aunt, or parent has died, but also to the child whose parents have divorced, who has suffered a debilitating injury, or who has experienced other forms of traumatic loss. Second, let's face it: every child will suffer a loss at some point, so it behooves parents to be prepared in advance. As the authors say, "our task as parents is to prepare our children to deal with the experiences they will have." It's unfortunate that the book has what might be considered a common structural flaw in self-help books. All of Part I (about 50 pages) is devoted to examining various myths about grieving and mistakes in dealing with it--for example, that the griever should keep busy and try not to feel bad. This is "good advice about bad advice," but it leaves the reader wondering why the authors didn't choose to get on with the plain old "good advice" on page 1. By Part II, it's already clear which coping techniques the authors will recommend. It would have been better to start there. --Richard Farr

Written With Gentle, Healing Hands:
I am a conservative, grumpy, old, Lutheran pastor, vehemently opposed to all things "New Age." I despise the fads of pop-psychology. "Touchy-Feely" advice from so-called experts, who demand exorbitant fees, often makes me want to wretch. So, I approached this book filled with trepidation. There was no need for my concerned. Writing with extraordinary gentleness and common sense Mr. James, Mr. Friedman and Dr. Matthews have provided adults with an invaluable outline on how to shepherd the children in their lives through loss, grief and recovery. Every parent, grandparent, teacher, pastor, priest, rabbi, nurse or physician who expects the children in their lives to suffer the death of a pet, suffer the death of a relative, move or endure a divorce will benefit from reading this book. Do yourself a favor. Read this book for the sake of the children whom you love. It is well worth the investment of your time. Then, do yourself a second favor, and place a copy of this book in your church, synagogue or public library for the others who will grow by reading it.

A Must Read for All Parents:
This book should be required for all parents. If you want to understand the basics of human and/or child behavior, this book is a must read. The book succinctly and lovingly explains the concept of "loss" and the emotional and physical responses to it-what we would normally call grief. The beauty of this book is that grief is placed in a larger context. In other words, according to the authors, grief is the response when experiencing a "massive change or end from everything familiar." Therefore, children, and adults, can grieve a variety of situations: loss of a pet, moving to another neighborhood, or changing schools. Therein rests the beauty of this book. This book explains how to help children. More importantly, the adults who are required to provide the assistance will learn more about their children and themselves. So highly recommended, there are not enough stars to express this book's importance.

Practical Book with Great Examples:
This is the book for everyone. Why everyone? Because all of us will or have lost someone or something special in our lives, and if we knew how to deal with these loses beforehand (usually we don't) then we wouldn't have such a tough time dealing with our personal losses. What I especially liked about this book was how the authors have defined the topic "What's the Problem?" Then, they presented the six common myths about the book, like "Don't Feel Bad!" or "Be Strong." After this, they proceded to look at specific situations, going from death of a pet, to divorce, etc. and finally concluding with death of a person. Excellent stories and examples. Definitely A GOOD VALUE book! WHY ONLY FOUR STARS? Because as I read on the book I felt as if the authors were constantly trying to sell me their previous book(The Grief Recovery Handbook). They kept on refering to it and telling how great it was. Now, it's o.k. to do this here and there, but as I read this book this reference became very annoying. Nevertheless, it is still a MUST for everyone! Oh, and one more thing. This book teaches you and me what they don't teach us at school and our families; so it opens our eyes to something that has always been there before us, but what we were unable to see because of the society's rusted ways of dealing with loss.

Children's Grievances Matter:
Everyone deals with grief at some point. "When Children Grieve" by John James and Russell Friedman is an amazingly helpful book. After the recent death of a dear friend, I needed help in understanding grief from a child's perspective. This easy to read book explains that it's healthy to grieve, and that adults need to allow children time to heal. "Children need to feel bad when their hearts are broken. Adults should never try to fix a child's loss." Also, the book explains that grief doesn't just come from death, but instead can be motivated by divorce, pet loss, moving and even a parent's job loss. Grief stems from sudden change in ritualistic behavior. As adults, it is our role to facilitate the child's emotions by helping them discover "undelivered communications." This book teaches adults how to reach out to children and guide them through difficult times. It's a must read for all parents who want to encourage emotional growth and mental wellbeing in their children.

A wonderful tool:
After reading this book my eyes have been open to the conversations I have had with the children I teach and those that I come in contact with. I felt that this book is one that anyone in any profession could relate to. The book's focus is on how to help our child deal with grief or loss but I feel that it even teachs us, as adults, how to communicate with children in an every day conversation. During the first 7 chapters the authors focus on the myths that we as adults communicate to our children, and inturn see the myths that were communicated to us as children. Everyone at some point in their life will deal with loss/grief of some sort and also helping someone they love deal with loss/grief. We all must be equipted with the knowledge of how to do this effectivly. This book is an easy reading book that at anytime can be pulled off your home library shelf and put to good use.