[.ca] The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands (Audio Cassette) (ISBN 0060566140)

What Do Men Want?:
*A man needs to feel strong and needed as a protector for women-basically, to conquer the beast and rescue the fair maiden. *A man needs his woman to show him that she needs his strength to help her through life. *A man needs his wife's encouragement in order to be a man. Those are just a few examples of what men want, based on Dr. Laura Schlessinger's innumerable letters, e-mails and telephone calls received from frustrated men. "\oW\comen get married thinking largely about what their marriage and their men can do for them, and not what they can do for their men," she writes. Simple truths from a straight-forward woman. For over 25 years, Dr. Laura Schlessinger ("Dr. Laura") has been "preaching, teaching and nagging" on the radio, encouraging men and women to create healthy and stable homes for children. She goes a step further in The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, encouraging wives to use their power as women to create happy homes. This book speaks to the woman who criticizes, neglects or ignores her husband, a basically decent man (not the abuser or the addicted) who is often starved for his wife's attention and affection. Men are dependent on their wives for their emotional well-being, and want to be loved and appreciated by them, says Dr. Laura, a licensed marriage and family therapist. Men are self-admitted "simple creatures" who are raised by women, marry women and rely on them for a sense of security. Consequently, if the wife is not happy, the home is not happy. The book will certainly provide more fodder for Dr. Laura's detractors to chew on. The idea of considering your husband's needs above your own is old-fashioned and politically incorrect. The book is bound to draw criticism from a self-centered culture where personal happiness-and not the happiness of others-is the highest priority. In The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, Dr. Laura offers real-life examples from letters and phone call transcripts, as well as practical advice similar to the wise counsel women once received from their mothers and grandmothers on how to keep a happy home. Such advice is also biblical. In Titus 2, older women are instructed to mentor younger women and teach them how to care for their husbands and homes. "How is it that so many women are angry with men in general yet expect to have a happy life married to one of them?" Dr. Laura asks. She believes the answer lies in the "assault upon, and virtual collapse of, the values of religious morality, modesty, fidelity, chastity, respect for life, and a commitment to family and child rearing." Another culprit is feminism, which has created much chaos between men and women. This ideology is particularly caustic to marriage. Men and women are different, yet feminism teaches that they are fundamentally the same. As a result, women create strife by heaping unrealistic and unnecessary expectations on their husbands. What Dr. Laura presents in The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands is nothing new; it's merely a reminder of something very old. "Contrary to what a good forty years of feminist propaganda has claimed, it is not oppression, subjugation, or abdication of any feminine quality-of-life potential to marry a man, be proud of your bonding, rejoice in your gifts and sacrifices for your marriage and family, and derive pleasure and sustenance from your role as a wife and mother." I am woman, hear me roar! © 2004 La Shawn Barber Originally appeared on Townhall.com.

Men Are Simple Creatures, All They Need Is ...:
In this book, Dr. Laura presents what could be called the "Contemporary Theory of Husbands." She tries to encourage women to cast off the influence of the feminist movement which has fostered feelings that have allowed women to use their time in non-productive men-bashing, rather than in trying to analyze what they really want, and how to get it. Dr. Laura states the following, "Remember, men are simple creatures and very dependent on their wives for acceptance, approval and affection." Her basic theory being, that if men get that from their wives, their wives will get back many fold, what they give. And also, Dr. Laura wishes that woman would analyze carefully what they have because of their husbands and what they want out of life, and make the decision based on those factors. While her theory is surely not neo-Freudian or neo-Jungian, it has a very high potential to work in present day marital situations. She stresses the need for honest and meaningful communication. And she tries to point out the reality, that a successful marriage is hard work, and both partners have responsibilities within the relationship. Dr. Laura simplifies a lot of the problems and answers, but unlike test data in a lab, Dr. Laura's evidence actually comes from empirical field data by helping real people sort these things out on her radio show, and through letters and her other activities. It should be clearly stated, that Dr. Laura does NOT advocate being a stay at home mom, but she does advocate the concept that women are more responsible for child rearing than men. In addition, she states that the woman should have more responsibility in a marriage than a man, to provide the things that the man wants, and to be the leader in productive and meaningful communication.This is arguable. Both parties really have some responsibility to this in a marital relationship. I found Dr. Laura's commentary on embryology and "hard wired" genetic differences between men and women, which start at about 8 weeks into gestation in the womb. There is considerable evidence to suggest, that all of us, are born with both male and female "hard-wiring" but the hard wiring that is expressed, is that which is activiated by the particular hormonal mix running through the veins of the specific person. Thus, it has been shown in hundreds or animal studies and now, with transexuality, that if one changes the hormonal balance, that an animal will act in normal programmed ways as would the opposite sex, and that really it is the hormones that control the "hard-wiring" that is selected and displayed, not so much the physical equipment. Dr. Laura addresses some other highly relevant subjects in her book, perhaps the most important of which in marriage are the issues of "sex" and "guy time." She does a wonderful job of exploring this with support of her listeners conversations and letters. If there is anything at all that Dr. Laura could have done a little better at, was that I think she went slightly overboard on the concept of "repition brings remembrance." Her book often goes over the same point or concept in multiple places. But I know, that this was intentionally done by Dr. Laura. In all, the book is a wonderful book for both men and women, as it helps both understand the other, and work at productive and happy marriages.

A Lifesaver!:
Think of this as an instruction book on marriage. I read this book five years into my marriage and would have had a much easier time of it had I read it before I got married! Much of the mystery of marriage was cleared up for me. It will definately be my standard wedding gift for others. Very easy reading.

"Care and Feeding" is not for Feminazis:
I know that others have stated that the book was an attempt to turn women into sex slaves. However, there is only one chapter in the book devoted to sex, and even that has little to do with sex and more to do with treating your husband as you would have him treat you. I think I can sum up most/all of Dr. Laura's books by saying that she feels it is necessary for both people in a relationship to try to GIVE 100%, so that when one can't give quite as much, there is still more than 100% available for the relationship. If you both give 50%, then at some point, one will not be able to do so, and the relationship will have less than 100%, and will suffer. I suppose it depends on whether you think a relationship is valuable enough to do what it takes to keep it. If you do, this book will provide examples that will touch most or all of us in some way, of what works, and what doesn't work.

Yes, a feminist can love this book too!:
I've always considered myself somewhat of a feminist and am not a fan of Dr. Laura for various reasons (she's extremely hypocritical). But, I purchased this book planning to take it at face value. Wow. A number of the points in this book made a lot of sense and were a bit of a slap in the face. Sure, Dr. Laura's a hypocrite - but ignoring that and just reading the words for what they are has helped me ten-fold. I used to think, "why should I do the housework just because I'm the woman?" It's not about being the woman - it's about what I'm contributing to our relationship. My man works longer hours in a much more stressful job than I. Why is it considered socially demeaning or oppressive (yes, I admit to being one who thought it was) for me to have a health meal on the table when he gets home? If he was home 3 hours before me, I'd hope he'd do the same thing. Definitely read this book - but take what you want and leave what won't work for you. This book is about showing your husband respect and appreciation. What's so oppressive about that?