[.ca] Cassandra French's Finishing School for Boys (ISBN 0060781319)

ironically anti-chick lit romp:
Nearing thirty, Hollywood studio attorney Cassandra French constantly grades herself on six courses: Personality, Looks, Physical health, Mental health, Career, and Relationships. Her scores will vary in the first five courses depending on her situation, but she is a drop out when it comes to relationships as she has found men to be shallow and self indulged when they are sober; when males are drunk they become obnoxiously shallow and self indulged. Tired of dating groping alcoholics, Cassandra has a good time attending a baseball game with Owen until the seventh inning stretch when beer consumption takes effect. Cassandra locks the drunken Owen in what she now calls her kennel. When he becomes an obedient canine, she brings him two companions, Alan and Daniel as students at her finishing school for changing slobbering male dogs into caring gentlemen. Movie star Jason Kelly takes Cassandra out, but she learns he is using her to sue her studio. Irate, Cassandra abducts him, but he is a moron unlike his three litter mates as he kills himself by electrocution. Eric Garcia pays homage to the chick lit and hunk lit tales by skewing the sub-genre with this fabulous satire that stuns readers when they realize that this is not another sensitivity quest. Cassandra is amusing as she seems the prototype keeping up with the chick lit Jones until the audience realizes that her boys waiting for food in her basement kennel are not dogs, but human males. The support cast that include her "boys", her employer, and her two pals especially the yoga queen enable Cassandra to star as the queen of the ironically anti-chick lit romp. Harriet Klausner

chick lit meets oh so black comedy:
You can't argue with the tremendously high concept of this very yarny yarn: sick of guys, Hollywood studio functionary Cassandra French decides to drug and chain three of them in her basement, so that they can be taught how to treat women right. With a plot that good, and with repeatedly dire twists to it that make you fear for surprisingly sympathetic Cassie, let alone the author (one of the "boys" she kidnaps, for example, turns out to be taken away from a pregnant fiance: how do you make that funny? Garcia pulls it off), what we have here is a chick lit winner. Maybe my five star reviews are too soft-hearted, because this book wasn't perfect. There's some of the usual boilerplate: e.g., my upper arms are so ugly, and yet every guy in the book thinks I'm so hot! And the love interest story/Bridget Jones diary excerpts are strictly by-the-numbers. But Garcia gets away with it all because he writes like a pro, the jokes aren't bad, and the story keeps chugging along to a quite satisfying end.

A bizarro world take on chick lit:
On first glance, this novel appears to be yet another book of the "chick lit" genre: protagonast Cassandra French faces professional and personal woes in modern day LA. However, there are several surprises in store, with the first being that this book was actually written by a man. In his author's notes, Eric Garcia explains that he is "surrounded by women," suggesting why he may have written a novel which would appeal mostly to females. Yet males may be drawn into this book as well given the black comedic elements revealed within the first few pages. It seems that Cassie has become so fed up with the opposite sex that she decided to kidnap a few "boys" and train them to become men (hence the title). Strange? Definitely. Funny? Well, yes, that too. The exploits of Cassie and her friends--street smart Claire and bimbo Lexi--are humorous enough, and the story is certainly engaging. However, the plot elements were a bit TOO bizarre for me at times, from Cassie injecting the boys with morphine to keep them docile to her diasterous involvement with a top movie star. And of course, there is the happy ending: although this is par for the course in most popular fiction, the sweetly perfect conclusion seemed rather out of place here. To be fair, I must admit that I have never been a fan of black comedy, which mostly likely tainted my view of this novel. If your tolerance for dark laughs is as low as mine is, you will probably find, as I did, that the more morbid aspects of this book detract from its humor.

A Wild Chick-Lit with Humor and Edge:
If you are looking for laughter, a little suspense and book that has a little edge, this is read for you! First and foremost Eric Garcia did a spectacular job writing in a woman's voice. I found Cassandra French's: Finishing School for Boys to be a very hilarious story. If Cassie and her two friends Claire and Lexi didn't have you laughing, you were on edge wondering what would be the next outrageous thing they were going to get into or do (oh and especially Ms Cassie). Oh and I must say no matter how ridiculous, wrong illegal and/or outrageous the stunts Cassie pulled were, you couldn't help but to continue to care for her and hope she would be okay in the end. If you don't have this book in your collection, you should certainly purchase it! You will find yourself glued to the pages and it will be very hard to pull away once you start to read!

"School" graduates:
The dictionary entry defines a finishing school as a girls' school that "stresses training in cultural subjects and social activities." Well, it isn't just for girls anymore. Eric Garcia gives us the wickedly funny evil twin of the chick-lit genre, in "Cassandra French's Finishing School For Girls." Cassandra French is your average modern L.A. woman -- she has two weird pals, a crazy mother under house arrest, a not-so-fulfilling job, and three gorgeous young men chained in the basement. Those three men are being remade and revamped at Cassandra's "finishing school," where she takes boorish, alcoholic gropers and turns them into sensitive, polite, woman-friendly, color-coordinated men. Then Cassandra meets hot actor Jason Kelly, who seduces her in an effort to sue the studio she works for. So Jason becomes the newest student at the Finishing School -- Cassandra doesn't plan to let the pretty-boy celebrity use women anymore. But things start to spin out of control when the enraged Jason manages to tangle himself up with chains and wires, and electrocutes himself. Now Cassandra has to dispose of the body, deflect suspicion, deal with the fiancee and unborn baby of one of the "boys," and keep her friends from blabbing about her secret school... It's a rare woman who hasn't met a jerk like the ones Cassandra has to deal with -- the sensitive, adorable Owen starts off as a drunken creep who doesn't understand the word "no." Okay, nobody could really approve of Cassandra's methods to revamp her slobs and jerks into gentlemen (except toward guys like Jason). But it's certainly funny to see her do it. For awhile, Garcia seems to be coasting plotwise -- Cassandra entangles herself with two men, scuppers a club, and teaches the boys. It's funny, but a little monotonous. But when Jason dies, things descend into a hilarious downward spiral. Cassandra's careful plans and regulations go completely out the window, and Garcia knows just how to milk the humor. Cassandra is a hilarious retake on the chick-lit heroine. She's just avoids being amoral, by considering her "teaching" to be a favor to women, men, and the world in general. There's also a likably kooky backup cast of the tormented Claire, the idiotic yoga teacher Lexi, Cassandra's nutzoid mother, and the likable young nightclub owner whom Cassandra definitely likes. Think a boot-camp "Bridget Jones," and you have "Cassandra French's Finishing School For Boys." Eric Garcia's best thus far, and a thoroughly entertaining read.