[.ca] The Onts (ISBN 0152059954)

A Series of Gross-Out Events:
If your kids love the Lemony Snicket stories and the Goosebumps series, and snicker at gross-out stuff like boogers and stinky feet, then this one will be sure to get their attention. The Shluffmuffin twins suddenly find themselves orphans after some rather unfortunate events overtake their parents and tiny grandmother, and are biding their time at the Jolly Days Orphanage until their adoption, living in up on gruel and bread crusts. Sadly, that day seems to be a long way off, as Cheyenne is a walking allergic reaction and Wally's foot odor can't be tamed. Enter the Mandible sisters, who seem only too happy to take the twins, sneezy and stinky as they are, and whisk them off to their mansion in Dripping Fang Forest, where not even cab drivers dare to tread. Of course, things are sometimes not as they seem, and in this case they're much worse. Although "The Onts" (never "aunts") provide everything to make a child happy, such as Cable TV, Nintendo and as much ice cream and cake as they can eat, Wally breaks the house rules and makes a discovery in the cellar that gives him goose bumps. Betrayed by Wally's wet (and stinky) sneakers, the twins have to choose between certain death at the mansion, or even more certain death outside in Dripping Fang Forest, where lurk talking wolves, ten-foot long foot-eating slugs that glow in the dark and other things too frightening to mention. An easy short read (took me half an hour) and one that should encourage even stubborn readers to want to hurry on to the last pages. Amanda Richards