[.ca] Skin Game: A Cutter's Memoir (ISBN 0312200110)

From Amazon.com:
A number of recent books by journalists and therapists have probed the social and psychological forces behind the alarming practice of self-mutilation; this unflinching memoir tells readers what it feels like. Caroline Kettlewell made her first attempt at age 12 with a Swiss Army knife, too dull to perform satisfactorily, but she quickly graduated to razor blades. "There was a very fine, an elegant pain," she writes of her initiation. "In the razor's wake, the skin melted away ... then the blood welled up ... the chaos in my head spun itself into a silk of silence." Describing her tense but not unusually difficult youth, the author doesn't spend a lot of time trying to figure out why she was so unhappy, concentrating instead on making palpable her sense of dread and terror of being out of control, emotions relieved by the act of cutting. Some readers may wish for more self-analysis, but others will find Kettlewell's austere prose and sensibility refreshing. "I kept cutting because it worked. When I cut I felt better, " she explains. "I stopped cutting because I always could have stopped cutting." Not the fanciest way to put it, but those sentences, like the entire book, have the cadences of "the plain and inelegant truth." --Wendy Smith

This book went nowhere:
Memoir is one of my favorite genres, but this book was so disjointed I just couldn't get into it. The author throws in random chapters in her life but never explains how they relate to her cutting. She never explains what events motivate her to take a razor to her skin. A memoir is supposed to be intimate, but in this book the author as an adult seems so detached from her adolescent self. If she doesn't know what made her cut, why did she write a book about nothing? There are no epiphanies here. Also the book is written in an annoying College English Term Paper "Look at me" style. (Too many similes, metaphors, cutesy modifiers, etc.)Completely uninspiring. I give 2 stars because I enjoyed the chapters about growing up in Rural Virginia. For a good memoir, read "Angela's Ashes" or "Even Dogs Go Home To Die."

The Choice was mines...:
I finish reading Kettelwell's "Skin Games" It only took me about two weeks to read it. I have to say, I didn't like in the beginning when she refer to her scars as "Sins" but I did like how she threw in the whole Southern experience, "Scarlett O'Hara" and "Gone with the Wind," I'm a sucker for that culture. Kettlewell writing is a little strong for me. She made me, the reader, feel benith her; She uses such words expressing her cutting that to the mind of an English teacher would understand, but to the simple minded reader...she needed to use small words...She jumps from first person point of view to third persons. She writes of her life as a long script. She is the actor and this is her play. Such as her first wedding date when she writes "I show up on the Church's lawn, Half hour before it all begin. I came in shorts and a shirt, and I had my wedding dress thrown over my shoulder..." She's done research that can be apply to her own personal life. She writes about how she had to lie to tell people about her cutting, as "Did tell a lie to keep myself happy, or did I tell it not to worry them?" In the end, she brought everything together, when she writes "I stop cutting because I always could have stop cutting; that the pain and inelegant truth. No Matter how compelling the urge, the act itself was always a choice. I had no power over flood tite of emotions that drove me to that brink, but I had the power to decide whether not to step over. Eventually I decided not to......You have to make your journey, and bear its scars" I think that is so true and cleverly written. Its myself who is cutting and this is hard to admit. I am the one who is holding the razor to my flesh, and I am the one who cleans it up afterwards. I can't blame it on no one but myself. I don't have control over people's though, words and actions that can sometimes lead me to cut, but I am the one who is doing it. I can't (yet) control my thoughts and emotions, but I can control my actions. The choice was mine, and mine completely. I could have any prize that I desired. I could burn with the splendor of the brightest fire, Or else, I could choose time. Its like once you put your hand in the flame you can never be the same. There's a certain satisfaction in a little bit of pain. You learn form that. Life is a learning experience. So I actually took something away from Kettlewell Story. Granted it might not have been what I wanted...but its something that I always knew.

Skin Game review:
I (as a cutter myself) know the emotions the author is realiting to in this book, at first i found it as an excellent referenst to say to people "read this page - that is how i feel today" and then i got to the grafic parts, she goes into a lot of detail, a word of warning to anyone reading this on their road to recovery, make sure u are safe when reading as some of its contents may be Triggering.

Cuts both ways:
Believe it or not, there really hasn't been enough written on the idea of self-mutilation. I recently read CUT and thought that also to be well-written and to the point. Kettlewell writes beautifully about a subject that may be a turn-off to those who don't understand. For those who know first hand about this phenomena or for those who seek first to understand, this book is a must. If you're looking for another riveting and completely shocking memoir (this one about repressed memories and child abuse) try McCrae's THE BARK OF THE DOGWOOD. Also recommended: A Bright Red Scream

An important book as well as a great read!:
I came across this book randomly in a second hand store but it struck me and I took it home and read it in it's entirety that night. While some reviewers have felt that Caroline Kettlewell was gloryifying her cutting I disagree. The way she wrote about it expressed how she felt at the time she cut. It was a wonderful way to overcome her other problems, to her, while she knew it was wrong, it was still a blessing. I have been struggling with depression for most of my life and I still have to fight to keep from cutting. In reading this book I felt so much less alone than ever before. Something I feel is important about this book is that it is a first hand account. Caroline Kettlewell gives information on cutting that is scientifically based but it is only to give insight to her experience. So much of society had misconceptions about people struggling with depression, cutting, and eating disorders among other mental diseases and illness' that I find it very important for people to read about a real live person. Give a person to go with the disease. So many sufferers are defined by their problems and "outsiders" can't see past that. Caroline Kettlewell also happens to have a degree in English which makes this book an extremely pleasant read. It is well written and while it does include the science behind the psychology it is in understandable terms; you don't feel like you're reading a text book. The personal account of a disease starting in preadolescence until adulthood and how it was overcome gives hope to sufferers and a new point of view to their friends and families. A MUST read.