[.ca] Teen-Proofing: Fostering Responsible Decision Making in ... (ISBN 0740710214)

From Amazon.com:
Parents can protect toddlers--with their maximum mobility and minimum logic--by pasting plastic on electrical outlets and putting poisons out of reach. But protecting teenagers is not so simple, says family psychologist and author of Raising a Nonviolent Child John Rosemond. "Short of solitary confinement, you can't guarantee that a teen won't use drugs, shoplift, drink or crash the car. In the final analysis, teens must protect themselves." Rosemond's Teen-Proofing provides parents with tough-love strategies for managing teens so they make self-protective, rather than self-destructive, decisions. Many parents will recognize the error of their ways in Rosemond's portraits of parents as "micro-managers" who try to control their children and "wimps" who let their children control them. He offers a compelling alternative by urging parents to be "mentors, who realize they can control the parent-child relationship, but not the child." The author explores critical parent-teen issues including curfews, cash, cars, and cohorts--detailing an approach that gives teenagers a "long rope" to make their own mistakes and also offers "creative consequences" to encourage responsible decision making. The author offers smart and seasoned advice--from coping with middle school "tweenagers" to understanding why teens are vulnerable and how the culture diminishes a parent's influence. Yet he undermines his clarity with snide asides about mental health professionals and one too many smug and self-congratulatory examples of his own parenting of a son and daughter. These distractions are unnecessary; the book's unconventional and provocative suggestions will speak volumes to parents of teens. --Barbara Mackoff

my teenager thanked us for being such good parents!!:
I just loaned my copy of this book out to my friend on Mon.and on Wed. she called to thank me for giving her this book and had already talked about it to another friend that was going to buy it as soon as she could. I bought this book and realized very quickly that I would be returning to it seeking advice and perspective, so I began to highlight passeges thorough as I read. I have read this and "Ending the homework hassels". My sister-in-law has been to his conference and uses his technique in her class. My other sister-in-law has a few of his books and her kids are not yet teens, but is using his ideas/technique in raising healthy, responsible children into healty responsible adults. This book helps put things into perspective no mater the age you are dealing with, and no mater the condition of the relationship you have with your teen. I have been though some very difficult years with my children (ages 21-13) and with a husband who travels extensively (gone 5 days a week). I was able to read this book and impliment his ideas and phlosophy with out anyone noticing a drastic "change". There was a change, but it was in the way I parented. I remember thinking as I read this book the therie "for every action there is and equal and opposite reaction". realize that the reaction dosent always have to be immediate, it can come back like a wave, weeks later. Our job as parents is not to shield them from the wave or prevent the wave from comming, or to make the wave bigger than it is, but to instead be there on the shore when they get washed up (we've all been washed up, and learn our lessens better from it) Go ahead and give them enough string to get caught up. Eventually they will have to untangle them selves and the training ground for that is while they are still in our "nest". 3 weeks ago MY 15yr. OLD THANKED MY HUSBAND AND I FOR BEING SUCH GREAT PARENTS!! and I give credit to this book and his book ENDING THE HOMEWORK HASSELS. they are two "must haves" in your parenting library

This is a must read for parents of teenagers:
I got a pile of "how to parent teenagers" books when things starting getting more challenging at home. Of all the ones I read, this is the best. It's clear, well-written and sound advice. It respects both parent and teenager.

This Book Saved My Daughter:
I bought this book when my diabetic, ADHD son turned 13 and the book was very helpful. A year or so later, my oldest daughter - then 16 - was in a house fire and was burned over 15% of her body. After she had "recovered" she was a different person (new friends, the smell of pot smoke always around her, refusing to go to school, etc.) and although we placed her in therapy, she was spiraling out of control fast. One night I picked up my old copy of Teen Proofing and started to read it again. Although I knew that technically my daughter was in the "too late" category, I applied the techniques. I guess for me it was just a last ditch attempt...I didn't think it would work but I didn't know what else to do. Dr. Rosemond's advise isn't always easy to take and it is even harder to actually do. Sometimes the things he suggested felt scary, like jumping off a cliff and not knowing if the parachute would open! But slowly, we started to see changes. The day we sold her car was a turning point. She just about brought the house down with her screaming and anger, but within four months, she was her old self again. No drugs, the bad influence friends disapeared and she started staying home at night to "be with the family." I didn't know it then, but I know now, what we did was to show her that we were in charge and that we had the courage to make the hard decisions to keep her safe. Not long after we got our daughter back, she graduated from high school and currently - about a year later - she works full-time as a medical assistant and is making plans to begin college part time in the spring. I don't just "guess" that Teen Proofing worked, for us I KNOW it worked and I would recommend Dr. Rosemond's advice to anyone with the strength to see it through.

Great Parenting Advice:
A MUST READ. A friend of mine offered this recommendation for this parenting book when I was frustrated with the friends my son was befriending. I loved the author's straightforward, no-nonsense approach to the teenage years. I have experienced the over protective, micromanaging parents that he refers to. I have also seen the "buddy" parents; neither style works in my opinion. I totally agreee with the concept that parenting styles must change after about 11-12 years of age. I loved the way the other fosters the idea of earning independence by your actions. I also thought the "teaching by example" concept was invaluable. I highly recommend this book.

Good commonsense returns to parenting:
Are teenagers different nowadays, not really. Is the way we raise teenagers different -- definately, if least if we follow the "oh so concerned" advice of the modern parenting experts. Thankfully, Rosemond says "baloney" to the theory that the child is a victim. Our parents for the most part, knew how to raise a child, and Rosemond's theory is that with but a few exceptions, the techniques that worked 50 years ago still will work now. In sort, he advocates taking control out of the hands of the children and putting it back into the hands of the parents. A great book. I recommend it highly.