[.ca] Prehistoric Women (1967) (ISBN 0764004689)

From Amazon.com:
Deep in the African jungle, great white hunter David Marchant (Michael Latimer) discovers a secret Amazon society where blondes don't have more fun. Captured after trespassing on the sacred grounds of a dangerous tribe of albino-rhino worshippers, he escapes execution by entering a hidden land where women in fur bikinis have enslaved the men, and the brunettes are served by subservient (and quite buxom) blonde slaves. Naturally David falls for cleavage-endowed Saria (Edina Ronay), who believes he is their legendary savior, while the vicious, dark Queen Kari (Martine Beswick) decides to make him her own personal servant to cater to her... every need. Director-producer Michael Carreras (who also wrote the film under the pseudonym "Henry Younger") reused leftover sets from One Million Years B.C. and never leaves the confines of the studio for this campy bit of jungle-woman cheese, which threatens to become overwhelmed by its claustrophobic atmosphere. We get tribal "hoochie-koochie" dances, a Vegas floor show by the blondes, sacrifices to the "devils of the darkness" (with such regularity you have to wonder how they haven't run out of candidates), and Queen Kari takes a milk bath à la Cleopatra. Beswick is the only performer who hits the right note of overheated melodrama; the other cast members seem to be taking this goofy claptrap far more seriously than it deserves. Beware the white rhinoceros! --Sean Axmaker

Slave Girls of the White Rhino!:
Not to be confused with a low-rent American movie of the same name made in 1950, Prehistoric Women was written and directed by Hammer producer Michael Carreras in 1966, on redressed sets left over from Hammer's One Million BC. Definitely an excuse to find a way to reuse the sets, and no dinosaurs this time around, but the film is so outrageously, unapologetically campy that it's complete bliss. Terminally sincere great white hunter David touches the sacred horn of the statue of the White Rhino while in Africa, and is transported back in time, where he discovers a tribe of White Rhino-worshipping brunettes, who have enslaved all the blonde women, and sent all the men to an even worse fate doing hard labor. Martine Beswick is just great as the evil and cruel queen Kari, who chooses David for her love slave. Unfortunatly, David has eyes for innocent blonde slave girl Saria, and.... This flick has everything, wildly loopy Amazon dance numbers, sacficial rituals, catfights, jungle action, babes in fur bikinis, outrageous dialog ("Cruelty is what makes me cruel!"), and a climax where the White Rhino comes to life (who cares if it moves like it's rolling on wheels....besides, no real rhino could have such an wonderfully phallic horn). Beswick puts a lot more into the role of Queen Kari than one would expect from this sort of movie--she definitely has more commanding presence (in more ways than one) than Raquel Welch, for example. It's obvious director Carraras didn't take any of it with an ounce of seriousness, even though it's all played as though it is. His original working title was "Slave Girls of the White Rhino", which I think is a much better title than Prehistoric Women. Still, a sheer, delerious delight. Anchor Bay's letterbox transfer is great (and is featured on the VHS tape as well as the DVD). The letterboxing is vital for this flick, since for some reason Carreras decided to go against typical Hammer practice and do this one in genuine widescreen Cinemascope....probably because you can fit a lot more prehistoric babes in one shot that way.

Beware of this one, Bwana...:
I really didn't have high hopes for Prehistoric Women (1967) on the outset, but I never one to shy away from the potential goodness to be had in a film with fur-lined, bikini clad, prehistoric women, so I decided to give it a try. Then I saw the opening credits...produced, written and directed by Michael Carerras?! This is the man responsible for other Hammer Studios bum rides as The Lost Continent (1968) and Shatter (1974). It might as well have said 'Abandon all hope ye who enter here...' Oh well, bring on the pain... The film stars Michael Latimer as David, a hunter with a conscious, and one who guides less experienced hunters through the jungle in search of big game. After his current client wounds a jungle cat, David tracks it to put it out of its' misery, and finds himself trespassing on sacred land, the Land of the White Rhino. Apparently hunting on these lands by outsiders is forbidden, and after David kills the cat, he's quickly accosted by a group of natives. The penalty? Death...but before the sentence can be carried out, something happens, and David finds himself transported to another land, maybe even another time...the time of the prehistoric women! After coming across a fair-hair girl in a fur bikini, David and the girl, named Saria (Edina Roney), they're both captured by a group of dark haired women, also in fur bikinis. The two are taken to a populated clearing, and here we meet Kari, played by Martine Beswick. Kari also sports the same type of wardrobe as the other women, but she has more adornments, suggesting she might be higher up in the social food chain. And she is, as we soon learn that she is the queen. So Kari is the queen, the dark haired women are her power base, and the blonde haired women are slaves. Well, that certainly makes things easy to keep track of...but where are the men? A case of spontaneous female population? And all lovely ones at that? Kari, taken with David, decides to take him for herself, but David has already made a connection with Saria, and, after witnessing Kari's cruelty towards the blonde hair slaves, he's not inclined to fall in with her, refusing to become a willing slave himself. This angers Kari, and she orders him to be thrown in a cave. Within the cave we see chained men slaving away doing busy work, all looking much worse for wear. It was around this time I started getting an ache in my head... So what happens? Well there is a plot thread dealing with the blonde haired women speaking of rebelling against the tyrant Kari and her group, another plot thread involving the marrying of slave girls to jungle demons as a sort of sacrifice to appease the demons, and yet another dealing with a legend of the white rhino linked with spiritual bondage, none of which made very much sense. There is plenty of dancing and jungle music throughout the film, both men and women, so if that's your thing, you be pleased. It's not my thing, and I got even more of an ache in my head. The film finally begins to wrap up after awhile (it has a 90 minute running time) and we are treated to a somewhat exciting climatic battle royal involving the brunettes, the blondes, the male slaves, David, supposedly demon jungle spirits...and a white rhinoceros...criminey...I guess if you have really lame and inane plot threads running throughout your movie, it's best to keep throwing different elements at the audience, in hopes that they won't notice how little sense it all makes. It reminds me of a magician, drawing your attention to one hand while doing something with his other hand. Only problem here is both hands, figuratively speaking, contained steaming piles so drawing our attention any which way only further highlighted how lame an affair this really is...oh, I will say the women were nice to look at, but given they were supposed to be of the prehistoric kind, they seemed to be awfully well groomed, despite the obvious lack of personal hygiene products. They also had quite the excellent grasp of English, some even having English accents! So, does David escape this savage land, ruled by half nekkid women? Would he want to? What's the secret behind the legend of the white rhino? Honestly, I stopped caring about much of anything regarding this film long before it this point, but I always try to finish what I start, so I clung on until the bitter end. And it did end, with a twist that was so very obvious and contrived I literally groaned. Anchor Bay Entertainment provides a good looking, wide screen print here along with a few nice extras. Included is a theatrical trailer, TV spots, and a World of Hammer episode titled Lands Before Time, highlighting some of Hammer's cinematic forays into times long since past. There is also a nice little reproduction of the original theatrical poster for the film inside the DVD case. I'll leave you with a nugget of goodness from the film...after killing a slave girl, Queen Kari commands the other slave girls to dance, to which one replies, "When the heart is heavy, the feet are not light." Cookieman108

Defines "camp classic":
Rhino-worshipping jungle brunettes dominate hapless jungle blondes who strive to be free in this fantastic nonsense-movie. For a film with such a simple dynamic, there are a surprising number of diversions from the main plot. These are very entertaining (dances, weddings, catfights) although they're obviously filler, padding out the film to feature length with eye candy. Definitely a late-night or rainy Saturday afternoon feature. Some reviewers have said that "Prehistoric Women" is missing 16 minutes of footage, but that's incorrect! Actually "Prehistoric Women" is the American version that runs 16 minutes longer (90 minutes) than the 74-minute British release, titled "Slave Girls." THIS IS THE U.S. RELEASE - THE LONG VERSION. Thanks Anchor Bay!

Defines "camp classic":
Rhino-worshipping jungle brunettes dominate hapless jungle blondes who strive to be free in this fantastic nonsense-movie. For a film with such a simple dynamic, there are a surprising number of diversions from the main plot. These are very entertaining (dances, weddings, catfights) although they're obviously filler, padding out the film to feature length with eye candy. Definitely a late-night or rainy Saturday afternoon feature. Some reviewers have said that "Prehistoric Women" is missing 16 minutes of footage, but that's incorrect! Actually "Prehistoric Women" is the American version that runs 16 minutes longer (90 minutes) than the 74-minute British release, titled "Slave Girls." THIS IS THE U.S. RELEASE - THE LONG VERSION. Thanks Anchor Bay!

Campy and Fantastic!:
This movie is a silly, but very charming effort from the sixties, my favourite decade. It is a little scary and very sexy at the same time. It has: great soundtrack, gorgeous gals, beautiful sets, talented actors and actresses, a wonderful mood and MARTINE BESWICK, one of the most amazing women who ever entered the silver screen. A tale of adventures iin the kingdom of the prehistoric ladies, presented in a TOTALLY SIXTIES-STYLE. A MUST for everyone who loves campy flicks!