[.ca] The Secret Lives of Married Men: Interviews With Gay Men ... (ISBN 1555837743)

OK, so it's not the best book you'll ever read...:
...but while I respect the opinions of my fellow reviewers, please give this one a chance. EVERYONE out there---straight AND gay---can relate in one way or another to one or more of the personal declarations in this anthology. What is of interest here is the inflexible march of time and how things change and evolve as the clock ticks on...from oldest to youngest, the contributors share with us a chronicle of feelings, perceptions, fears, hopes, expectations, aspirations, losses---you name it, the list is almost endless---not only for themselves but their families, friends and loved ones as well. Leave your judgement behind---this is real life and it really happens, whether or not you choose to believe or accept it.

Terrible Writing:
This book is a nightmare to read - the writing was so bad that I had to read multiple pages two or three times to even understand what the author was trying to say. The publisher obviously did not employ an editor. Not only is the writing terrible, the stories are shallow and unenlightening. Leddick seems more interested in how the people he interviewed looked than what they had to say. Here are just a couple quotes showing how little depth this book has: "He has quite a story. But the first thing you should know about him is that he is very cute." "Brad Appel is a dashing guy. With his powerfully muscled body and wrestler's stance, he attracts quite a few admirers at the gym he frequents." Anyone with a bit of education will have trouble understanding his child-like writing from the poorly written introduction to the disappointing end. There is no logical link between much of what happens in this book. The interviews are reminiscent of how a Kindergartener would tell a story - "he did this then he did this then he did this then he did this" - however, it does not attempt to analyze in depth the psychological processes going on in these married men's heads. It does more to perpetuate sterotypes of gay men (including the author) than allow the reader to draw any insightful conclusions about what should be a very interesting issue. I am quite disappointed in the book and would NOT recommend it to anyone. I am shocked it was published in this form.

Some interest, little insight:
David Leddick's volume of interviews with gay men who once were or are currently married to women promises a good deal more than it delivers. Organized by the age of interviewed subjects, starting with the oldest, the mostly short interviews are sometimes touching, sometimes titillating. After a very short while, however, monotony sets in, due to the sameness of the subjects (handsome, successful, professional, and with a very few exceptions, white) and the persistent lack of any real insight into the motivations of the men profiled. Credit must be given to Leddick for not attempting psychoanalysis for which he is obviously not qualified; but the lack of any compensating interest or other profundity means the final impression is quite similar to many of his collections of male nude photographs--polished, facile but hard to remember when one has closed the book.

Lots of stories, but no illumination:
I hoped that the book would provide insight into my father's life and thoughts. Unfortunately, the 39 interviews seem to be shallow, in that there isn't much delving into the details for a true character portrait (like New Yorker in-depth interviews). Each chapter feels like a 30-minute conversation -- too short to know a person and what makes them unique. It seems odd to me all the stories end happily and with hope (no mention of any person having additional negative burdens, for example lingering guilt, depression, regret, or unfortunate contraction of AIDs). This makes me wonder if the author has filtered out information. Perhaps he didn't, but I was expecting a variety of outcomes from 39 different people. All in all, I'm glad the author has recorded these interviews. Now if he could select a few interesting interviews and expand them into another book, that would make for a very interesting read!

Hot Topic, Not-So-Hot Book:
Because I, like many gay men, have an interest in and attraction to married men, I purchased this "true stories" book. While the interviews are interesting, most are not very enlightening. Also, the author apparently interviewed only good looking, younger-than-their-age looking men. I guess men who look their age (or, horrors, older) and/or are only average looking aren't gay and don't get married. Perpetuating self-hating stereotypes contradicts the advancement this book strives to achieve. The writing is amateurish at best, and the publisher apparently does not employ an editor. The book is a nightmare from a writing perspective. I applaud the men presented in the book for telling their stories. I'm sure that, if presented properly, they would be very helpful and educational to all men. The author's conclusion does not belong in this book. It is more suited for a text about non-traditional families. If you must read this book, borrow it or buy it used. At full price, it's disappointing.