[.ca] The Mask of Motherhood: How Becoming a Mother Changes ... (ISBN 1565844831)

From Amazon.com:
Everything changes when a woman becomes a mother, but society--particularly women themselves--often colludes to deny this simple truism. In The Mask of Motherhood, author Susan Maushart (a nationally syndicated columnist in Australia and the mother of three children) explores the effect childbearing has upon women. In the process, she removes the veils of serenity and satisfaction to reveal what she holds to be the truth: the early years of motherhood are physically difficult and can be emotionally devastating. New mothers increasingly enter full-scale identity crises, few women have sufficient information about child-rearing realities, and, as Maushart writes, "the realities of parenthood and especially motherhood are kept carefully shrouded in silence, misinformation, and outright lies." The book comprises seven essay-style chapters. In "Falling: The Experience of Pregnancy," Maushart discusses wrongful notions about morning sickness, the mixed messages about pregnancy weight gain, and the "mask" of stoicism pregnant women feel compelled to wear. In "Laboring Under Delusions," Maushart exposes the changes 30 years have brought in childbirth, and the contemporary woman's need for self-control in all things, including birth. In "Superwoman and Stuporman," Maushart disabuses readers of the myth of what she calls, "pseudo-egalitarian family life." The Mask of Motherhood is extensively researched, convincing, and deeply insightful. --Ericka Lutz

read only if you look at the world with rose-colored glasses:
The book is honest about the bad experience of some mothers, which is probably the only good thing that can be said about it. The material is presented in a very negative way, and tends to be more biased towards the bad experiences when discussing examples. It also makes it appear as if no women talk about their experience (based on the earfuls I get from moms with young children, that is simply not true). It also seems to assume that women who are pregnant (or want to be pregnant) think that everything is going to be straightforward, natural and easy. Well, there are some women out there who don't think this way - we KNOW that it can be painful, messy, problematic, both physically and mentally, even if some of us have not yet experienced it. It's not a big dark secret as this book seems to imply. This book might be useful for women who have a vague idea of what pregnancy and childbirth might be like, and those who perhaps think everything in life is easy. For everyone else, it doesn't add anything other than a feeling of depression while reading it. This is especially true for "older" moms, who supposedly will have a more difficult time of it (a better book to read would be "So Glad We Waited!" by Lois Nachamie - it's more neutral and offers practical advise). Don't waste your money on this book - check it out of the library if you absolutely have to read it.

She manages to write many pages without saying anything:
I have purchased Susan Maushart's book recently because it was recommended as "debunking the myths of motherhood". The book indeed attempts to reveal and dissect the problems with mothers' identity in our society. Unfortunately, Ms Maushart is too enamored with the idea of making all options equal, not offending anyone, and with sounding scientific. She talks and talks, finding many different ways to say the same thing over and over and not telling us anything new. What's worse, she belittles breastfeeding as just one of those dumb old things we were led to believe are better, "like cooking things from scratch". It's too bad that Ms Maushart, in her attempt to sound well researched and scientific, has forgotten to actually look at scientific research.

Mixed bag...bold ideas but is she unhappy mother!:
Hmm...really displeased with the anti-breastfeeding twist discussed at length. yes, she discusses the brutal and sometimes ugly feelings of mothering, but it is one-sided. Not one mention of a happy mother or women plesaed with their parenting choices. She's almost anti-female in some of the concepts. Just because no one has presented these ideas before doesn't make them real or true for the majority of mothers. Her unique and personal "mask" of motherhood is atypical and does not represent most modern women today. Not empowering, although cleverly done and presented in an adequate writing style. Would not recommend it or pass it on to other mommy's.

It's not just me!:
I bought this book while I was pregnant with No.1. The first time I attempted to read it I was put off by Chapter 1 and put it away for another day. Thirteen months later and now pregnant with No.2 I picked it up again and just can't put it down. Now that I am a mother it seems so much more relevant and I find myself nodding in agreement with almost every page. It's a relief to know that I'm not alone when I feel like it's all too hard and it wasn't meant to be like this! I thoroughly recommend this book to new mums in their mid-30s who have realised they've lost "control" of their lives.

Helped me after shock of new motherhood!:
I'm sure there are mothers out there who had a blissful pregnancy, delivery, breastfeeding experience, and LOVE every second of staying at home with their children-or working and still taking primary responsibility for the children. However, for the other 99% of us, this book lets us know that our negative feelings do not make us bad mothers, and are in fact, quite common (if not the norm). I've given this book to every one of my friends who is considering motherhood. I am not attempting to disuade them, but to let them know that if they have negative feelings about the experience of motherhood and birth, they are not bad women or mothers, as our prevailing cultural myths would have them believe.