[.ca] How to Be a Help instead of a Nuisance: Practical ... (ISBN 1570621500)

Put your own oxygen mask on first then assist others:
The author describes helpfulness as a cycle of turning inward to be present with oneself and reaching out to be present with others. The practice of mindfulness meditation underlies the entire cycle so those with some familiarity with sitting meditation or Chogyam Trungpa's Shambhala Training will quickly understand the author's viewpoint. The idea that each person has a basic "brilliant sanity" puts the helper and the client on an even footing, with neurosis or psychosis seen as an imbalance in one of the five qualities of brilliant sanity: openness, richness of experience, clarity, compassion, and skillful action. Many practical suggestions are given for providing a wide variety of help - from simple listening to helpful actions - including how to recognize when you can no longer help and tips on referrals. A compassionate approach to becoming a helpful friend to family members, friends, clients, colleagues, or customers - but especially to yourself.

A lovely, intelligent book:
I gave my copy away, so I'm buying two more, one to give away. This is a good and very helpful book. I have been the dispenser and the recipient of unwanted advice many times. How to be a Help... teaches us to ground ourselves and listen sensitively to others, as they try to find their own way through difficulties. This book is based on Buddhist teachings, but you don't need an interest in Buddhism to benefit from it. Highly recommended.