[.ca] Caligula: Divine Carnage: Atrocities of the Roman Emperors (ISBN 1840680490)

like an car wreck: sick, wrong, and you can't help but look:
THIS BOOK IS HILARIOUS!!! Especially if you know anything about the subject, because it is so tragically inacurate. This is thinly disguised pornography written by two so-called scholars whose only resources were an encyclopedia article and a copy of the Bob Guccione movie. This book is also Exhibit A in the case against ever allowing an Englishman anywhere near a word processor. So much of this book is brazen baloney, but in a sick way that's part of the charm. This book HAS to be a joke. Just check out the description of how to capture a lion on p. 78: "Armies of slaves were expended to capture those majestic beasts. They were impervious to tranquilizer arrows, and the only way to subdue them was for a particularly handsome slave to present his shapely, exposed {*posterior*} to the lion's mighty sexual apparatus; then, once the act of copulation (which invariably proved terminal for the unfortunate slave, due to unsustainable blood loss) reached its critical point and the lion was momentarily distracted, a gang of a hundred or more whooping slaves would wrestle the lion to the ground and throw a net over it." Whew! I'll be generous and say that 5% of this book is historically accurate. But sometimes the guys weren't even trying to be real. We are presented with page upon page describing Caligula at various Coluseum events, but unfortunately in their 5 minutes of research the authors missed the fact that Caligula died in 41 and the Coluseum wasn't built until 80! To an extent, that is what is so purplexing about this: given the vast wealth of dirt and absurdity that are amply documented about Rome's nuttiest Emperor, it is a mystery why these two buffoons would chose to go into uncharted territory and brazenly make up lurid fiction. The only solution I can fathom is that this is a straight-faced joke. If you know nothing about Caligula and actually want to learn, avoid this book like the plague and get a *real* book. But for a good laugh, check it out. I have also discovered it is possible to make a drinking game out of it. Get a case of beer, and a copy of this book. Take a sip every time some historical "fact" is presented that is obviously wrong. Take a swig every time a sex act is referenced, and pound the rest of the can upon the use of the term "plebeian scum." You'll be wasted before you finish a chapter.

interesting, but pornographic, repetitive, and false:
I'm all in favour of making history interesting, but it should be well written and accurate. This book is pornographic. Coming from me, that's not only not always a perjorative, but in fact I'm about the last person to start criticizing sexual content. Unless, of course, it represents ill-concealed fetishism for the sake of shock value with no redeeming artistry or value. The authors seem to be fascintated with buggery, body fluids, and sadism, because that's all this is about. If this book were to be believed, the people of the Roman Empire really never did anything but find new and imaginative kinks and S/M activity to amuse themselves, with their emperors leading the charge. Read _Hustler_ instead--it has more literary value. This book is repetitive. How many times must the common people be referred to as 'plebeian scum?' How many times is it necessary to describe blood (and/or other substances) fountaining forth in great gouts? If you read the first ten pages, you've got the picture. It's good that Amazon has them available, so you can do just that and decide not to waste money on the remainder. This book is false. It purports to be history, but it has little substantiation, primarily because said support mostly does not exist. It's true that some emperors of Rome were sadistic perverts; no one doubts that. However, I've read most of the relevant ancient sources, and there simply is no documentation, none, to back up the vast majority of what is in here. Nor is it plausible, for the simple reason that had the Roman Empire really been like this, it would have been overrun by any roving band of bandits while deeply occupied in waste, frenetic omnisexuality, and intoxication. People will rarely just sit still to be murdered, and a great deal of this book is about murder. If the authors were going to write sensationalized creative fiction, they should have admitted that, and not tried to call this garbage 'history'. It is not. In short, it's one of the worst books I've ever read from nearly every standpoint. Spare yourself. I wish I had.

Possibly a joke?:
I almost think the authors intended this to be a joke but did not include a disclaimer. Whatever information they didn't get from the 1980's porno, they made up. The Roman people are always referred to as "plebian scum" and when Caligula chooses a human woman to begin his dynasty of incest, his horse is "inconsalable". The emperor's genitals are referred to as his "imperial weapon" and the senators have nothing to do other than choosing a color to paint their new meeting hall or getting "buggered" by Caligula. Even if this is a joke, however, it quickly loses any humor it may have since it begins repeating everything after the first page. (or even the introduction) All in all, save your money...

Caligula: Divine Garbage:
This is the most inaccurate account of the Roman emperors I have ever read. It is also one of the least academic. The authors refer to "documents that have recently been discovered" as the basis for their facts but NOWHERE do they tell you where to find these "documents". Anyone with the least bit of intelligence will also know that their description e.g. of the sexual behavior of spectators at the gladiatorial games is far-fetched and made up and sensational, to say the least. Their description of how some gladiators were so well trained that they could decapitate another, and have the blood spurting out of his neck then form the letters of the name of the emperor, is absolutely ludicrous. It is a pity that a book like this exists -do NOT waste your money on this book.

Absolute Buggery:
As a amateur historian specializing in ancient cultures such as the Romans, I found this book to be nothing but pure fiction. While the authors do make it seem as though these events could be true, a little common sense tells the intelligent reader that they are not. What I found even more incredulous was that the authors give absolutely no sources for their information. On the other hand, this piece does work as a pornographic salute to the Romans. Hilarious but not true at all would best describe this book. If you are a fan of murder, sodomy, beastiality, and lurid female conduct then buy this book. If you are more interested in the facts of the ancient Romans, then avoid it like a Lybian lion going for the anus of a young slave.