[.ca] One Small Starfish: A Mother's Everyday Advice, Survival ... (ISBN 1885477872)

I'm having a hard time with this one:
As the mother of a young boy with ASD, I am a devotee of 1st person narratives dealing with the autism experience. Anne Addison's book shares many practical, fairly easy to implement suggestions, but the book got under my skin as well. This book is indeed easy to use and read. However, the author just has too much money to throw at situations to create a realistic portrait of raising a special needs child. I cannot "hire" the "help" that Anne is able to hire for fulltime babysitters, housecleaners, and random other folks who keep hearth and home for her. Nor can I afford (and I don't believe that the majority of us out there can) to fly my child around the country to the have consultations with the leading experts in the field, as Addison repeatedly does. Yet, these means are frequently recommended to the readers. Addison also came off like a "supermom," even though her advice was to try not to be one. I'm sorry, bot only a person who does not have to clean, watch her children, run errands and cook is going to be able to write all of the letters to insurance companies, teachers and other team members that she recommends. This book did have some valuable insights. Her advice on hospitalization was particularly compelling, and worth the read for that alone.

"Parent friendly", highly recommended observations:
One Small Starfish: A Mother's Everyday Advice, Survival Tactics & Wisdom For Raising A Special Needs Child is the true story of Anne Addison, a mother who worked hard to raise a child diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Asperger's Syndrome, and developmental delays, and sensory integration problems. Facing the formidable challenges of teaching a child who is constantly pulled onto paths only he understands, Addison mastered the basic necessities of familial survival and helped her son learn how to cope in a dangerous world. One Small Starfish is a 372-page compendium of practical, "parent friendly", highly recommended observations and experiences from which the mothers and fathers of special needs children can draw information, advice, and hope. Addison's son is currently a successful student in a typical fourth grade classroom and, as other boys his age, actively participates in sports, church choir, and music.

Excellent Resource Tool:
This is one of the best books about a child with Asperger's that I have ever read. Despite the word "perseverate" which is a damning and harmful word (it also speaks to intolerance) which is better replaced with "repetition/special interests," this is an excellent work. Anne Addison deserves a round of applause for this stellar work. I love the Beatle influence by entitling a chapter "Getting By With a Little Help From Your Friends." That Beatle influence - it's a good one! Her second child, Jack was born in 1991, a year after his sister Sarah. While Sarah was described as a low maintenance child, Jack had behavioral and sensory issues from the beginning. I like the way Addison looks back at Jack's early behavior and realizes what might have caused it, such as a meltdown he had at age 2 when he wanted a juice box while visiting an unfamiliar relative. I also like the way she describes her son's schooling; the resource tools she used and the overall layout of Jack's classrooms. Jack initially had a good school experience in pre-kindergarten, but that came to a crashing end the following year. Claustrophobic and highly active (Jack was also described as being ADD/ADHD), Jack was forced to sit in a closet for a time out. The boy was understandably scared out of his mind. When Jack was in second grade, his world unravelled. He had a meltdown in class; was not well matched for the teacher he had that year and engaged in dangerous behavior such as jumping out of a moving car. He was subsequently hospitalized and the experience sounded nothing short of traumatic. Jack's day in the emergency ward until he was sprung was horrifying enough, but the two month sentence he served in a local hospital (December 1998 - February 1999) sounded horrifying to me. The one thing I took issue with was Addison's wondering if being there on Christmas would affect Jack. Of course it would! The boy probably felt he was being punished and to serve time in a hospital on Christmas - ouch! On Christmas Eve, he wrote a note saying he wanted to get out of that place and who could blame him? Another horrifying event was Jack being locked naked in a seclusion room while Addison waved good-bye. That was very upsetting and one can't help but wonder if Jack felt that was being sanctioned. The only good thing to come of this experience that I could see was that Jack was on a strict behavior modification program. That helped him learn what social boundaries are. Once released, Jack attended the hospital school (Partial Hospital Program - PHP) until more suitable placement could be found. After many trials and errors with medication and different types of therapies, including alternative methods such as one that involved manipulating the boy's head and neck, an appropriate school was found for Jack. Readers soar with his progress and growing development. Since autism/Asperger's (a/A) is a sensory condition, Jack's behavior made perfect sense from a sensory, sensible standpoint. He disliked haircuts because he didn't like the way shorn hair felt on his skin. He found parties too loud and confusing. He understandably didn't like the physical therapies because of his sensitive sensory issues. He had to follow a detailed, routine sequence to perform many routine tasks such as dressing and brushing his teeth. There were two things that I found confusing: In the chapter entitled What's Going On With the Other Kids in the Family, John is called "Ken" twice. In the Sample Medication Log, Jack is called "William" twice. Who was Ken? Also, the chapters did not line up with the Table of Contents and were off by one number. Parts of this book were funny. When Jack was asked to cheer a neighbor's daughter whose mother had just died, Jack juggled pillows because he said he thought that would cheer her up. Jack's behavior was logical and he was doing what he thought was right at the time. I thought that was funny. I like the way strategies are included in this book along with a good resource guide. This is the book parents of children on the spectrum have prayed for. Be sure to get this and make it a very close friend. You will find it to be an invaluable resource and you will be mighty glad to have it close at hand.

A sister speaks:
My own brother has the exact same problems as the boy in the story. I am 13 years old, and it is hard to cop with someone who is not like the other brothers and sisters that you want and that your friends have. This sister dealt with the brother in different ways, helping me to find what works for my family. This is the best book that i have read yet! It helped me so much more then i would have thought. I would recommend it to anyone who has a sibling, it helped me to understand that someone else was dealing with the same issues as i was.

A Must Read for Parents of Special Education Students:
"One Small Starfish" is an honest and intelligent book about one parent's experience with her son's journey through the special education and mental health systems. It takes you from the initial indications that her son was symptomatic, through numerous failed attempts to properly diagnose and treat the true nature of his impairment while her son's conditioned worsened to the point of long-term hospitialization, to the eventual successful treatment and subsequent marked improvement in her son's academic, emotional, and behavioral functioning. Anne Addison writes in a poignant and revealing manner that captures the reader's heart while simultaneously offering valuable insights into the inner workings of the special education/mental health systems and the manner in which to negotiate these systems toward optimal treatment for your child. This book is a joy to read and a valuable resource to parents of children who present with symptoms of Asperger's or various other emotional and behavioral difficulties that warrant special education/mental health services.