[.ca] Blood Freak

Slice up the turkey, ma!:
This is a GREAT brain-damaged disc! BLOOD FREAK is a cautionary tale about smoking marijuana and then eating Thanksgiving turkey -- you run the risk of becoming a white-headed Turkey monster in flaired jeans! WAH!

Greatest bad Movie, EVER:
If you like bad movies/B movies you will love this movie, and if you don't well I think you shouldn't even waste your time reading this review. Horrible acting, very obvious fake gore, laugh out loud monster, weird dialog, unbelievable characters, and a "twist ending". This movie has everthing that makes a movie so bad its good. the dvd is packed with extras noted above. If you are a bad movie fan you must see this film!!!

Giving the DVD a 5 and I've only seen the VHS!:
I willingly spent 30 of my hard-earned dollars to own a copy of this film when you only could get it on VHS. so all I own is the film itself, a film that brought me and ten of my friends into full-blown MST3K mode when we saw it once (complete with rewinding and watching a couple scenes over and over because they were so bad). A friend of mine had thought to bring PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE because he thought it was bad, but quickly yielded. This was worse. Obviously. And therein lies its beauty. The fact that the DVD contains something entitled "Brad Grinter: Nudist" puts it into the realm of the sublime.

Caution: Extremely Fowl Movie!:
This movie is absolutely sublime. If you appreciate truly terrible cinema, you MUST order this turkey now! Right now! This movie has it all! Terrible plot, awful dialogue, wooden acting (I am convinced some of the actors are actually made of wood), and THE most ridiculous monster in movie history, period. The plot revolves around Herschell, an ex Vietnam vet biker who gets involved with some pretty unsavory situations in the diabolical and powerful poultry industry, but thanks to the Grintner treatment, we never quite understand what is going on, and confusion reigns. As bad as this sounds there is so much more that combines on so many levels to make this one of the very worst of the worst. This is worse than anything by Ed Wood or Al Adamson. My favorite diversions in the movie are twofold. First, director Brad Grintner (you see a lot more of him in the DVD extras) narrates this whole mess with a pro-religion, anti-drug, anti-giant mutant murdering turkey monologue, which I could make neither heads nor tails of. In the manner of William 'One Shot' Beaudine and Ray Dennis Steckler, he clearly did the narrative all in the first take, so you get a bonus of Grintner lighting cigarettes, smoking, and having horrible hacking coughing fits on camera. The second delicious diversion in the film is the scene right after Herschell becomes the turkey monster when he reunites with his girlfriend. I won't spoil it for you, but it's certainly a scene that you will never forget. I won't say more on the subject other than that I guarantee that you will love this film. Also of note are all the extras, including a documentary on poultry farming, and other short subjects, two of which must be singled out for special mentions: "Brad Grintner: Nudist" is a short featuring Grintner and pals frolicking in the buff (note: this will NOT arouse you in any way); and, "Narcotics, Pit of Despair!" starring Kevin Tighe, future star (as Roy DeSoto) of TV's hit show "Emergency!" from the late seventies. Here he plays John Scott, a good looking high school student hooked on all sorts of bad stuff. Of course drug addiction is a terrible thing, and not to be mocked, but you are allowed a few smirks in this heavy-handed anti-drug film. Just say no to drugs, but say yes to this movie. It is an inspired work of utter brilliance; in its own fowl way.

Blood Freak finally released in all its Glory!:
I've seen a lot of bad movies in my day, but frame for frame, nothing measures up to Blood Freak. The plot involves a Vietnam vet who assists a girl with car trouble, meets her evil skank of a sister, gets hooked on drugs, works for the girls' father, eats a drugged turkey, and becomes a turkey headed monster craving junky blood! This movie is delightfully tacky and inept in every possible way. Also, look out for the best line ever uttered in a movie, "You're just a dumb bastard who doesn't know where it's at anyway!" Thankfully, Something Weird Video has lovingly released this title on DVD with tons of extras! The short films are so campy and ridiculous; they are worth the price of the DVD themselves. This is a must for any serious fan of camp, sleaze, and just plain awful movies.