[.ca] Hostel (Unrated Widescreen Edition)

Welcome to the Hostel Bratislava:
(To the tune of The Eagles' Hotel California) In a dark Slovak hostel Free love fills the air Warm heat from the spa steam Heating guys everywhere At night there's the disco But no shimmering lights When you get dizzy and your legs get weak It's time to stop for the night There they stand in the doorway All but ringing a bell And he was thinking to himself This must be heaven and there ain't no hell Then they stripped off their garments And they showed him the way There were voices down the corridor He thought he heard them say Welcome to the Hostel Bratislava Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place) For an American face Plenty of rooms at the Hostel Bratislava Any time of year (Any time of year) You will find us here You will find us here Her mind is currency twisted On her job she depends She's got a lot of sadistic brutes That she calls friends How they attract the tourists Sweet Slavic $ex The girls you'll remember The rest you'd rather forget He tried calling his roommates One, twice, several times They said We've had enough, and we've all gone home But you stay for the wine But still those voices were screaming from far, far away He woke up in the dawn's early light And he heard them say (Chorus) Meat hooks on the ceiling Caged like rats and mice And he knew They were all just prisoners there Each with a bloody price And in the torture chambers They gathered for the feast Watching him with steely eyes As they try to kill the beast Last thing he remembered He was seeing blood and gore He had to find a safe way back or at least to an open door Relax, said his captors Give and you'll receive You will check out any time we like But you will never leave (Chorus) (Extra verse) This one's not really scary And if you like blood and gore You'll see That except for the eyeball They don't show you much more Down in the butcher's chambers With a chainsaw named STIHL You'll have to use imagination To give yourself a chill Last thing you'll remember Is the Tarantino scene If you eat with your fingers, you'll know what I mean So if you don't want it too bloody And enjoy T & A Rent this movie for a night tonight And then call it a day (Chorus) Rated: 3.5 stars Amanda Richards

Hostel is an Eye-Popping Gore-Fest!:
Three college students (Jay Hernandez, Derek Richardson and Eythor Gudjonsson) decide to backpack across Europe. They have no idea what lies in wait. When they meet an older man on the train, they're told about a village where women will do anything to satisfy a man--especially Americans. Checking into a hostel in Slovakia, the three men discover that their room comes with a few perks. Three gorgeous women. And this of course leads to one thing. Most of the first half of the film is filled with the gratuitous sexual encounters so prevalent in today's horror movies; however, since it's actually a key part of the story line, I guess they had to do it. (No pun intended.) The women are bait. And once the men are lured in, they're drugged and find themselves in a terrifying predicament. As a longtime fan of horror movies, I felt there was extreme shock value in the gross chopping, drilling and slicing of human flesh. It made me cringe and turn away at times, and I have a strong stomach. It isn't a psychological thriller or ghostly horror, so much as a movie that tests your limits on what you can visually handle seeing. The final explanation of what's actually going on is perhaps what sets this film apart from other random slasher films. In fact, it's the 'hunt club' aspect that makes the story line more believable and even, dare I say, feasible. Yet instead of hunting down victims, wealthy men can torture, maim or murder in order to satisfy their sadistic needs. And as a subtle humorous dig, it's the Americans who are most prized. For what better way to get back at the US than to torture and kill future generations? The shocking violence of the group of children that appears occasionally also sends a strong message. If you travel to a foreign country, it's a good thing to carry gum and candy! At least the acting in Hostel was a far cry from the poor readings of the actors in the movie Saw--a movie that made me groan and sigh, wishing I could have written their dialogue and had my neighbors act it out. Unlike many of today's horror films, Hostel does leave you with a vaguely fulfilling ending. Of course, you'll just have to see it now to find out what that is. This is the perfect dieter's movie too, by the way. You won't be too hungry or thirsty while you're watching it. This movie is definitely for 18+!!! If you enjoy a movie that makes you gasp, cringe or has your stomach churning, this is it. If you can't handle blood and excessive gore and brutality, I'd recommend you watch a comedy instead. Now...where did I put my saw? Cheryl Kaye Tardif, author of Whale Song (2007 Kunati Books) and The River

gratuitous gore , no scares:
i'm not sure what to say about hostel.i found it too gory for my tastes and to me the violence and gore were gratuitous.there really wasn't any reason for the amount in the film.it wasn't scary at all, not even suspenseful.the characters were not very smart, so there was no emotional investment in their fate.the movie "saw" was also very gory,but the gore was part of the movie and served its purpose.so "saw" was a superior movie based on that alone .also, you cared about the characters.in hostel you don't.i think the main intent of hostel is to see now much it takes to really gross out people,so in the that sense it cannot be classified a horror movie.there is no atmosphere, or as i said ealier suspense.if you like blood and guts and aren't concerned with scares or sympathetic characters,you will like hostel and you might want to try "wolf creek".however, if you are looking for something more, try neil marshall's "the descent" or even "dog soldiers".in short i cannot recommend hostel. the preceding comment refers to the uncut dvd version,not the theatrical version

The New Age of Artless Slasher Films:
Hostel is about three young men; Americans Paxton and Josh and their Icelandic friend Oli, who travel to Amsterdam in search of drugs and hookers. In the long run they take their party to a quasi-Slovakia. Oli goes missing and so does some Japanese girl. No big deal right? So Paxton and Josh decide to party with some Russian girls and get a little bit too hammered. So much so that Paxton ends up passing out in a storage room. Josh wakes up in a dungeon and some Dutch guy starts to torture him, using a power drill and cutting his Achilles tendons. By the time Paxton gets back to the hostel, everyone is missing, well almost everyone. Josh finds those Russian girls again and starts pressing them for answers. He ends up finding an abandoned warehouse where people pay to torture prisoners and he gets snatched up and tortured himself. I'll stop there as things unfold in a fairly fun, albeit predictable manner. If that kind of story interests you and you're the kind of person that likes to watch excruciating torture scenes, then Hostel is the film for you. But don't worry, it doesn't desensitize because Hostel's director is so amateur in handling his actors you will not see Josh, Paxton, Oli and their international congregation of half-nude nymphs as real people. They are like dolls and the fake setting is their dollhouse. You see, the Slovakia we see in Hostel is not real. That's right Eli Roth has said "Americans do not even know that this country exists. My film is not a geographical work but aims to show Americans' ignorance of the world around them." You've got to be kidding me? Isn't he just as ignorant as his audience? And why isn't his audience offended by these comments anyway? With comments like that it makes me wonder, is Hostel not supposed to be convincing? I'm not supposed to take this movie seriously? What is the point then? Anyway, Roth has yet to show that he can make a movie with real acting and a convincing screenplay. So far, that places Hostel squarely in the great tradition of crappy slasher movies. Roth is not John Carpenter. He is not even Steve Miner. He is simply a guy who capitalizes on a young blood thirsty audience that wants to test itself. I feel like I really just ripped into Hostel. Something about it bothered me deeply. On the other hand, something about it also impressed me. I was provoked in two different directions. The accuracy and compelling elements that I all too often take for granted in films I think are quality, were absent in Hostel, but that doesn't mean that Hostel isn't a unique and terrifying experience. I cringed more here than in many films. I thought Takashi Miike's Audition (Miike makes a brief cameo here, kudos to Roth for respecting his influence) was a classic in the horror genre and had Hostel been any bit as compelling as Audition was, it would've gained great praise from this viewer. There is something hopeless about Roth's films. Like many good horror filmmakers, Roth will not turn away and will dispatch of a traditional hero-type in a gruesome without even thinking twice. No one is safe in a Roth film and his unflinching murders scenes are as intense as any, and they work. Some people critically call his films "torture porn" and I'm not so sure I disagree with that label. Then again as a deterrent, I'm not so sure that is such disparaging classification in terms of horror films. Hostel and Hostel II made $105 million worldwide combined, and together they cost about one tenth that amount. "Torture porn" sounds like a market brand more than a criticism. But that does not make Hostel art.

Saw with a Sense of Humor:
I'll keep this short, I liked Hostel for the reasons I didn't like any of the 3 Saw films; it doesn't take itself too seriously, which I think makes it more effective. Horror movies need a few laughs between the scares, it keeps you on your toes and unprepared for what's to come. Good flick!