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Disagree with main premise:
I read this as the betrayed spouse at the request of my husband (his counselor recommended it). I completely disagree with the author's statement that both partners must take the appropriate responsibility for the affair. I had absolutely nothing to do with the affair my husband choose to have. I do take 50% responsibility for the state of the marriage prior to the affair, but in no way am I responsible for my husband choosing to drop his pants with anonther (married) woman. I have been in the same marriage as my husband and I choose not to break my vows, why would I shoulder any responsibilty for the poor choice he made? Because of the author's opinion on "sharing the blame" I found it difficult to finish the book.
Blames the unoffending partner:
While this book does a good job of letting you know that ALL of the feelings that you are having about your cheating partner are valid and other people have them too, this book goes on to ask you "what did YOU do to contribute to your partner's infidelity?" I found this to be rediculous because all I ever did was trust him, obviously to my own dismay. This book doesn't really give you the tools to try to forgive and learn to trust again. It basically says to decide if you want the relationship and then suck it up and let the past be the past. In my own assessment, if we don't learn from history, we are doomed to repeat it. The past cannot just be left to be the past. It needs to be forgiven, but NOT forgotten. If you really want this book, let me know...you can have my worthless copy.
Too abbreviated:
This says it was an unabridged version. The product that was sent to me was clearly marked "abridged." I bought the book too so I noticed how much was cut out of the audiotape. Book is excellent. Too much was missing from the tape.
Rebuilding Trust:
It works at all stages. If you are trying to rebuild your marriage or just trying to rebuild yourself, read this book. The author helps you understand what you may be going through and how the other person may feel. I also strongly recommend the author's other book I Love You. Now What?: Falling in Love is a Mystery, Keeping It Isn't
Affair Help:
As a marital therapist, I highly recommend this book for those who have gone through an affair!
| Author: | Janis Abrahms Spring | | Author: | Michael Spring | | Binding: | Paperback | | Dewey Decimal Number: | 306.736 | | EAN: | 9780060928179 | | Edition: | 1 | | ISBN: | 0060928174 | | Number Of Pages: | 304 | | Publication Date: | 1997-03-26 | | Release Date: | 1997-02-14 |
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