Two Little Girls: A Memoir of Adoption (ISBN 0425208826)

Narcissism & Adoption:
This book is awful. I found the first part of the book okay. The couple is incredibly naive as they adopt their first child, but surprisingly lots of couples are. The cringe factor increased with each paragraph about their search not for another child, but a sister for their first, perfect, beautiful daughter. The narrator quickly became a very unlikeable character. This couple seemed to have more money than sense & would stop at nothing to bring home a sister. Then when the perfect daughter didn't like her new sister, the author spends too much time regretting their decision. The author really never came across as wanting to be the mother of the second little girl. She seemed way too self-involved to notice some of the more obvious attachment issues & unwilling to work on those issues with the little girl. The book left me feeling like I need kiss, hug & reassure my daughter, that I love her & wanted her for her, not because of what she provides for her brothers. Ick.

Refreshingly honest:
It always strikes me that most memoirs about the adoption process feature the struggles of people who entered into the process blindly, innocently, and naively then were amazed at the difficulties they encountered. I suppose if one had thoroughly researched the process, thereby avoiding many of the known obstacles, the story would not be as interesting! In any case, Two Little Girls is no exception to the pattern of naive prospective parents, underhanded agencies, boggling setbacks. What is different about Two Little Girls is that the author recognizes her mistakes and makes no allowances for her lack of due diligance. She is refreshingly honest about the whole process, particularly the emotional aspects. She did a brilliant job of portraying the ambivilance and angst that go along with accepting/rejecting a referral, then bringing a fully formed little being into your life. It is no cake walk! This is a great read for prospective adoptive parents as well as experienced veterans of the process. I loved the descriptions of some of the cultural differences encountered, especially the beauracracy. Oh, yes, it is a different world!

Pure honesty and pure love for two special girls:
What I liked best about this memoir was the total honesty of the writing. The author warns the reader to expect it in the introduction, and says she and her husband will not always come out looking great, and that is true. But I think the feelings and doubts they have going through a fairly smooth adoption and then a very tough road to adoption are ones that most every parent in those situations would feel, but few would admit to. Often adoption memoirs are sappy sweet, about the one special child that was meant to be part of the family, about all the angels that lead them to that one child, about love at first sight...none of that here, but that makes it all the more true to see the absolute love the author has for her girls. I don't know if this book would encourage others to adopt, especially from the Ukraine, as it certainly doesn't sound like a process that many could go through, especially without much money (someone the author does realize and laments), but if someone does undergo the process, it would be so helpful to know more about what it's really like, and the feelings that parents really have. Although I am not adopted and my children are not either, my extended family and close friends include many adopted children, and I thank this wonderful author for her book.

Helpful and Horrible:
The author does a huge service by writing honestly about the considerable difficulties of adopting overseas. Several of my family members and friends have adopted internationally and felt it was hard to be fully prepared for the mazes and minefields of the process - I think this book would have helped. Also, Reid gives the straight scoop on a couple of the sleazier agencies, who are sometimes less than honest and ethical. For these reasons alone, I'd recommend this book to prospective adoptive parents. At the same time, what an unlikable couple! I found myself wincing at their insistence that only a white baby, a girl baby, the cutest baby in the orphanage in the most perfect glowing health would do. The parents took days to warm up to their first potential daughter's picture, finding her "unattractive," and was jealous of a couple who got a "cuter" referral. Later, the author was disappointed when, after meeting her younger daughter in an orphanage, she saw a plumper, prettier child and felt that THAT child would fit in better with her family. Yikes. It makes me wonder if she was looking to raise a child or create the perfect family Christmas card. I fully understand why parents are wary of health issues, but this couple seemed obsessed with perfection and clueless that it was their job to meet the needs of the two-year-old who had grown up in an Ukrainian orphanage, not the reverse. A very useful book if you plan to adopt overseas, but otherwise, ugh.

A very authentic account...a real page turner!:
Having adopted from Russia approximately two years ago, I can attest that this book offers an honest, detailed portrayal of the whole nerve-wracking experience. I would recommend this book to anyone interested in adopting from Eastern Europe or anyone who has adopted and is interested in the subject. I had a hard time putting the book down as it is an easy, engaging read that leaves you wondering...what will happen next?