The Siren's Dance: My Marriage to a Borderline: A Case Study (ISBN 1419698184)

Surviving a relationship with a borderline personality:
Please note that this book is now being published under a new title: The Siren's Dance: My Marriage to a Borderline: A Case Study by Anthony Walker. In the story you will meet a young doctor who gets caught up in a whirl wind romance with a young beautiful patient after a suicide attempt. He is deeply attracted and fascinated by her but completely unprepared for the full force of the dark side of her personality. The book offers no solutions but if you have anyone in your life who you even suspect of being borderline personality then you should buy this book. Even though the case of borderline personality described in this book is mild I still think that the book is an excellent example of the general behaviour of the borderline personality and the affects on those that love them. This book will help you understand the common behaviours of borderline personalities. Buy this book and know that you are not alone and that you are not to blame. The book is absolutely invaluable in helping you realise that you are not alone. Many people feel very alone when in relationship with someone who has borderline personality simply because they can not talk to anyone about their relationship because other people can not relate to the behaviour of a borderline personality because it is so far removed from reality. Here at last you will find someone who understands what you are going through and can "talk" to you through this book. Borderline personalities are often in denial about having borderline even after receiving a diagnosis they will usually vacillate between blaming you and complete denial and only very rarely evening admitting that they even have a problem. If you suspect that someone in your life has borderline but you are not sure then buy this book and find out. After reading this book you will be know if the person in your life has borderline or not because the `evidence' presented in this book is simply overwhelming. Don't forget you can click on the comment button to leave me a comment about this review.

Rather subjective and one sided account , not charmed by this man:
Someone already title their review "it takes two to tango" so I couldn't use it, my feelings exactly. "Dr" Walker did not charm me in the least, he seems very cold and unemotional except when he is describing his own suffering. There were lengthy descriptions he gives us of his warm catholic family background and closeness yet he happens to marry this woman almost on a whim- he carefully articulates his marriage of conveience and keeps it hidden from his family. A Catholic background of any tradition purports to consider marriage a sacrament , and it's irrevocable.Yet he seemed to plunge right in knowing he could abort the mission if there was justification. There was a tone of elitism about the whole tome, he thinks he is better than his crazy wife, and yet he clearly describes being seduced by her beauty and the drama of the whole thing, after all the title of the book is called "siren's dance" The whole premise of thsi relationship is shallow and peurile and yet years later the author feels like he is doing us a service by revealing this ditch he fell in to. I didn't find much warmth and insight, but obviously some other readers did find much value. I do appreciate that the author is sharing his experience with us.

Compelling and Horrifying:
My reaction to the character with BPD is likely what most readers' would be: I was horrified and repelled by her, and it was difficult to remember just how tortured she was by her illness enough to feel compassion for her. Fortunately, the writer (her husband) never loses sight of this, and reminds us throughout--especially in the afterward--of the horror people with borderline personality disorder experience even just in breathing. In the end, I was saddened--for I know, as a therapist and a layperson, that most people with BPD never live the lives for which they yearn. Many who have the courage and insight can and do move on to live fulfilling lives. But their experiences (and their families') from the time of birth, until they're able to heal just enough to find their equilibrium, is hell on earth. This book painted that picture--of just one case--so accurately. At times it infuriated me; at others, it brought me to tears--just as my own clients with BPD can do.

Word of Warning:
Thanks to "Anthony Walker's" fear of being identified, we do not know if he is a real person or really if anything he is writing is true. He works at "A Prestigious American Hospital." At best this is letter to Playboy and at it's scariest this man is one of the 10% of men in the mental health profession who admit to sexually assaulting their patients. Because the provider/patient relationship creates such a power imbalance, it is not legal or possible for a patient in the psychiatric care of someone to "consent" to a relationship. "Anthony" is a coward who has not given his "wife" the chance to defend herself. I think in all likelihood, she would tell us a very different story about a controlling and abusive man.

Walker's a Little too Self-pitying:
When a young med school student ("Walker") decides that a young, attractive woman who had just attempted suicide needed love, he was correct. "Michelle" needed love, but she more desperately needed help. Like many borderline females, Michelle is unbelievably sexy, impulsive, full of rage, childlike, and incredibly needy. Because of his misguided and naive attempts to save her, her rage, self-doubt, and hate mushroom. Walker is overmatched and Michelle's unrelenting suicide attempts and physical attacks nearly destroy him. The story is gripping; but, worse, it is pathetic. Walker makes little effort to understand Michelle, to participate in her therapy, or to get her to see a better psychiatrist. His "love" is weak and amounts to nothing more than fearful placating. I don't know what horrified me more, his limitations or her rage. Walker unabashedly places the blame on Michelle - who was too mentally ill to controll her behavior. A far better book is Rachel Reiland's account of her recovery from BPD, "Get Me Out of Here." Rachel's psychiatrist is an astounding physcian and healer. He never allows Rachel to manipulate or intimidate him -- and he is committed to making her well. Where Walker leads the reader to believe those with BPD are forever consigned to hell, Rachel's psychiatrist leads her to heaven.