A Woman Like You: The Face of Domestic Violence (New ... (ISBN 1878067079)

Amazon.com Review:
Vera Anderson's unique volume of photo-essays shows the faces of brave women (and children) who have escaped situations of domestic abuse and prints each woman's story--in her own words--beside her portrait. Anderson sums up each entry with one sentence describing the woman's life after her escape--from happy to harrowing endings. "Their mother is serving a sentence of life in prison without the possibility of parole for the death of their father," concludes one of the testimonials. Women of all ages, races, and backgrounds look directly into the camera, answering the common question: What sort of a woman would stay in an abusive relationship? "You. Me. Our daughters. Our mothers. Our grandmothers. The faces of these women, survivors all, are poignant reminders that the questions we ask are so often the wrong ones." In the introduction to A Woman Like You, Anderson writes, "Friends would say to me, 'I never knew. You don't look like a battered woman.' I agreed. But then, what did a battered woman look like? The truth is, battered women are all around us. We just don't recognize them, because they look like us." Impossible to read without empathy and rage, this work's power is its simple and bold presentation. A Woman Like Youputs faces to a heinous social problem, but it also gives hope that freedom exists, however paradoxical.

A Woman Like You: The Face of Domestic Violence:
This is a touching, meaningful, and an innovative way to break down the denial concealing domestic violence in this country. In this work, Anderson utilizes interviews and photographs of 30+ women who are survivors of domestic violence. Questions like, "Why would a woman stay in a violent relationship?" and "Couldn't she tell before she married him that he was abusive?" are answered by the women without the question being asked. Second, the book can be used by therapists to help clients look past their own denial regarding their life experiences and find similarities between themselves and the women presented in this book. The last positive attribute to be mentioned here is Anderson's ability to capture the "face" of domestic violence. If one ever thought he or she could determine whether anyone else "looked" like a battered woman, one may have to reconsider his/her position. This book shows that domestic violence can happen to anyone... and it does. Domestic violence happens in all income brackets, racial and/or cultural groups, and in heterosexual and homosexual relationships.

Seeing Intimate Violence: Appearances Can Be Deceiving:
This book is excellent in portrayal of domestic violence, and through pictures, one realises that domestic violence affects everyone, not simply women. For example, the narrative by the two children in the book can break anyone's heart--particularly for those who have actually experienced the similar traumatic experience like myself. The narratives by the different women are all very touching, and this book can be read and SEEN by everyone, with no selectiveness of the audience. For those working as domestic violence counselors, lawyers, criminologists, law enforcement officials, etc., they should all examine this book to understand the impact of domestic violence within their community. Overall, this book is excellent!

As a male, I disagree with the subsequent review:
I'm a married male with two sons, and I found this book to be amazing. Since domestic violence is more often (and more lethally) perpetrated by males (like it or not, I have to be honest about what's happening), that means the emphasis of "helping books" is going to be toward women. While I'd like to see more books oriented toward males as victims, that should NOT discount the significance and quality of books that reflect the real-life realities of mens' violence against women. And since this book exists to represent true portraits, I can't help but be amazed with what it reveales. Instead of pleading for less "us-and-them" dynamics in books that encompass what's actually "us-and-them" forms of violence, I'd like to see more books that reach out to women positively as they escape violence, and more books that assist us men in coping with the violence that we have the choice and power to end, with help. Instead of faulting this book because of what it omits, I'd suggest that this book is valuable, and that the subsequent review below mine should judge this book on its inherent merits, and then simply plead a case for *additional* books that cover the topics he'd like to see, as well. It is not the intent of this book to span the breadth of the domestic violence issue, only to demonstrate what kinds of women experience it commonly.

One-sided with blinders:
This book only perpetuates the stereotype that all domestic violence victims are women and children, and all abusers are male. This kind of one-sided 'women-good, men-bad' thinking makes it impossible for a man abused by his wife/girlfriend to be taken seriously. It also means that law enforcement, the courts, and even the shelters won't take a man seriously when he needs help. This is not a book to celebrate.

A Woman Like You:
The book includes interviews that tell of abuse stomping down avenues and alleyways, terrorizing woman regardless of class, race, religion or age. Hard words and Harsh contrast link victims of abuse to common ground. Vera Anderson teaches us, through the eye of her camera and poignant interviews, that we must open our eyes to the possibility of abusive situations no matter what woman we are gazing at. It also includes a suggested reading list and contact information for those seeking help. Mandy Baker was sexually abused when she was eight. No one explained to her what had happened, and she was forbidden to talk about that night. Now, eight years later, Mandy is experiencing problems that she cannot solve on her own. She is constantly nauseous, especially around boys. She cannot participate in a romantic relationship, and it is impossible for her to communicate with her family. Increasingly confused by so many conflicting emotions, the girl finally seeks help. When she finds the courage to express what she has held inside for so long, her walls of silence are broken down. Anderson is a photojournalist who escaped an abusive marriage. Her portraits are of women whose looks are remarkable for their familiarity. They are people we see every day, gazing directly at the camera, indistinguishable in their appearance from others in the community; but their stories, briefly told, speak volumes.