Your Child's Divorce: What to Expect...What You Can Do ... (ISBN 1886230668)

Surviving Your Child's Divorce:
The author, Marsha Temlock, was inspired to write this book based on personal experience. I read an article in the New York Times ("My Child's Divorce Is My Pain" September 2, 2007, also in Boston Globe) telling her story and felt I had to read this book. As divorce becomes more common and parents live longer, they are more and more involved in the breakup of their children's marriage. This is a difficult adjustment for parents who feel caught in the middle between their own need to grieve/adjust and the need to help their child. The parents find themselves mediating between the separated spouses like the author did when her son and his wife went through a divorce (in the article she said she felt "like a 'switchboard operator', letting their divorce monopolize her life.") Also difficult emotions overwhelm the parent, like the plaguing "guilt and self-flagellation" that occur when a parent sees their child's marriage suffering. But luckily, this book is full of answers and insights, from someone who has already been through this process. We can learn from the author's experiences and not make matters worse by "trying to fix or rescue the marriage or wallowing in guilt or pain." Instead this book focuses on how you can help your child and your grandchildren cope. The five stage model (Accepting the News... Rescuing Your Child... Responding to Changes... Stabilizing the Family... Refocusing and Rebuilding) is just what the doctor called for when it comes to helping your family make the best of this situation. As unfortunate as a divorce is, how you deal with it can bring your family closer (or not). This book is user-friendly, accessible, clearly written, and compassionate. I highly recommend it for any parent in this situation.

A missing topic until now:
I am thankfully not in this position, but have friends who are and I bought it for them. I think it really helped them and there were no other resources that really addressed how can the parents of the divorcing adults handle the situation. Thanks Mrs. Temlock.. a very helpful book for my friends.

A Helpful Resource:
Your Child's Divorce helps parents stay grounded through the emotional upheavals they will undergo during and after their child's divorce. Temlock's book essentially provides a five stage model of the divorce process: 1) Accepting the News, 2) Rescuing your Child, 3) Responding to Changes, 4) Stabilizing the Family, and 5) Refocusing and Rebuilding. In her heartfelt introduction, Temlock reassures parents that they can help keep the family together even in the midst of divorce; parents can strengthen their relationship with their child during and after a divorce;parents can be instruments of family renewal and regeneration; parents can and must be role models for their children and grandchildren; and parents can hasten their own recovery as they make this journey with their divorcing child. The book is a great resource.

No stone left unturned:
Author Marsha Temlock does an excellent job putting an arm around parents (and grandparents) of couples who are divorcing. When I read the book, I couldn't help but think of what I put my own parents through 25 years ago (they were my current age then) when I called to say, "Mom, Dad, we're getting divorced." OUCH! Broken relationships are painful, and it's extra hard when you have to be supportive and helpful when you're hurting and fearful, too. Marsha offers great insight, a plethora of primary source interviews, thorough research, and some good old-fashioned common sense (which is something that often flies out the window when a crisis hits.) This book is worth twice the price.

Great for parents:
WOW!! I have really struggled with my son's divorce -- and this book helped me understand and control my feelings. I know I am not alone in these feelings!